My sister sent me a wooden plaque with these words on it and I am so thankful she did. It’s a great reminder.
For those of you who don’t know, I struggle with anxiety and am a bit of a hypochondriac. There is only a handful of people who actually knows this about me. But I want to be honest and share a little bit about my struggle with you.
I started going to counseling this semester because it was really starting to seep into many aspects of my life, especially with the huge transition to college. I have honestly cried more times this school year than ever before and my parents are wonderful for handling me during all of these tough times. But I am blessed to have my counselor, Daryn. She has been great at comforting me and letting me know that everything will be okay.
My case is not super severe, but my family and I agreed that it would be best to start taking care of it now, before it gets any worse. Your mental health is important.
The first time I noticed something abnormal was my sophomore year of high school. It was a rough year for me, with many issues piling on top of each other until one morning I woke up late for school and broke down. I started crying and hyperventilating, and it took me a long time to settle down.
Daryn told me that was a panic attack. I had two similar incidents after that, one while writing an English paper and the other after my baptism–the latter I found a bit odd. But Daryn informed me that they can occur during emotional moments too. Since my baptism a year and a half ago, I have not experienced any and I am incredibly thankful.
I am doing much better than I was last semester. However I am sure there will be tough days ahead of me. Anxiety is not something that just goes away, but it is a continual battle. There will be days when I overthink everything. There will be days when I have to convince myself I’m not dying or have a terminal illness. There will be days when going to bed is scary because it leaves too much room for my anxious thoughts.
There is joy to be found.
Not a day will go by without the Lord by my side. I may fall prey to my anxiety sometimes, but God is good and He is graceful. God is jealous for me. He has me in the palm of His hand and He knows my inward parts. I am guaranteed victory in Christ.
“And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:7
I am willing to take on this challenge with God directing me. I will be brave for Him.