Let’s see if this blog will be coherent. Probably not.
Lately, maybe because of the new year, I’ve been considering my life as a whole. One thing I really want to work on this year is honesty, especially within my friendships. Too often we’re not direct with one another and we skirt around things that make us uncomfortable… especially women. It’s so much easier to talk to everyone but the person or people you’re in conflict with and that’s not okay! We need to change that. It’s a bad habit engrained in too many of us, I’m sorry to say.
One thing that has really stuck with me lately is from a song by Twenty One Pilots, called “Isle of Flightless Birds.” The lyric says “Your soul knows good and evil, your soul knows both sides and it’s time you pick your battle, and I promise you this is mine.” That has played over and over in my head.
This is what I have begun to do over the past year or so… picked my battles. I’m now at this strange stage of adulthood, where for the first time, I’m in control of the people in my life. Who do I want to surround myself with? Can I provide any more towards existing relationships? Are my relationships helping or hurting my life? Is this an obligation? Do I want to watch these people become successful? Is this burden the right battle to be fighting? Does God and His word support my decisions?
I love everyone that has ever been in my life. I’ve learned so much from the most difficult people. God places everyone at just the right time. I’m beginning to let go of people and cling closer to others. That’s just the stage of life I and my peers are in! We’ve been at college two years now and entered into a new chapter, where we decide what kind of life we want to lead and what kind of people we want to partake in it.
This is not easy. I’ve always been a people pleaser and as I’ve gained more confidence in my identity, I’ve also come to accept that life’s not going to go how I want it to. People will be upset one way or another. But how am I going to approach these storms and difficult talks in my relationships? That’s what matters.
I’ve picked a couple battles, some people that I really root for and I want to struggle with. One in particular has been on my heart for about six months. I think it’s a battle worth fighting. There are also people I’ve been struggling with for a while now, who I’ve thought and prayed about for a year. This has resulted in some difficult and emotional decisions.
So there were some hodge-podge thoughts. Maybe you could resonate somewhere within the chaos? Life can be pretty jumbled sometimes, but I know my Heavenly Father will make everything clear over time.