Summer 2017 Goals

After two weeks, it’s finally hitting me that it is now summer. The season of calm, the season of recharging and the season to be reminded to listen carefully to what God has to say about my life. I’m sitting here basking in the hazy, warm breeze drifting through the living room while listening to new music from Harry Styles (basically the next Paul McCartney). Ah, there is nothing like the warm blanket of weather and new music to put me in the summer spirit and my heart is happy.

I then received and began reading a lengthy email from my advisor. The email brought up a lot of things—mostly things that stress me out… my future, my career goals, the average fears of college students. But at the end she wrote about how summer is the best time to listen to God’s calling for your life, be patient, and continually spend heavy, lengthy time with him. It tugs at my heartstrings because it makes me remember what’s most important, which is nothing I or my loved ones have been worrying about.

With that being said, these are my real summer goals. These are the things I am sure of and what I really hope for my summer. These are not goals that anyone else wants for me, but the genuine desires of my heart in this season.

My first goal was going to be “find part-time work” apart from Biggby, but if I’m honest, I’m not sure that’s going to happen. But I’m still praying about it.

The first couple days back at Biggby I was miserable. I just kept thinking ‘God, why am I here? This is dumb. I can’t gain anything from being here again. I’m not even a good barista, I keep messing up and my coworkers have to pick up the pieces for me. I want to be anywhere but here, I still feel tension with one coworker, and this job is a source of negativity for me.’

Since then I’ve been a little stuck. I still mess up now and again when I work, but I feel much more comfortable and back into the rhythm of things. My coworkers, boss and I have shared many laughs and all of the regulars have been so sweet and happy to see me again. But also I just want to be really transparent right now. There’s this person I met last year who I have prayed almost daily for and that person has been on my heart a lot because I know they don’t have many stable people in their life and most days are just “okay.” I’ve never been sure if that person truly cares about me (one of my biggest fears is apathy from people I love), but when I came back and saw them the first time, this person that seldom shares their true emotions was so genuinely excited to see me and it really had an impact on me.

I don’t know what God’s plan is for me in this season career-wise; all I can do is continue to pray. But I do know God works in mysterious ways and the fact that I’m back home and this person is coming back to work at the same time is very interesting.

So after this footnote/goal revision, here are the summer goals I am certain of:

  1. Spend time with Gracey.

Gracey is my sixteen-year-old dog and I have been with her almost the entirety of my life. To some this may sound silly, but for me I am incredibly serious. I love this dog so much and I know her time is drawing to a close, so I want to give her all the pets and treats I can.

  1. Cook for my parents at least once a week.

Yes, yes, I know this has not happened yet. *Cue eyebrow raises and pointed stares as we sit down for a meal.* But the point is my parents are really cool humans and have helped me through everything, so I want to try to give just a little bit back. (And maybe learn some cooking skills for the coming school year.)

  1. Show my family how much I value them.

Not only do meals show appreciation, but I also hope to hang out with my siblings, aunts and uncles, and grandparents more. Whether that involves game nights, good talks or serving in any way I can, now’s a good time to exemplify my love for these beautiful humans I have the privilege of living alongside.

  1. Spend time with God.

This has kind of already been emphasized, but it can never be emphasized enough. I would be nowhere without this cool dude. I’m hoping to turn to him before more and more things, whether a difficult talk with a friend or just a stressful day of work.

  1. Write a significant chunk of my novel.

My future, my career, so many uncertainties… But what is not a question? I’M WRITING A TRILOGY. So now is the perfect time to invest into something I am certain of. Get ready to fall in love with my characters, because I’ve only developed them a little and already love them. It will be an exciting adventure that will hopefully shed light on the broken and forgotten people around the world. My goal is to also write something my grandma will love.

Also this may mean I write less blogs than normal. But that just means you’ll have something in your hands you’ll love way more sooner rather than later.

~Annah

Sophomore Teachings

Sit tight; this could be a long one.

Last year I sat down and wrote a really difficult blog about how challenging my first year of college was. God has definitely been with me through the deepest of pits and that never changes, as sophomore year was a whirlwind of emotions. There were many sweet moments and some rough patches strewn throughout. But mostly, (I can thankfully say) sophomore year has been sweet. I have learned a lot from both God and the people I have journeyed alongside:

 

  1. Be open with others.

The thing is, college seems like a super social place, but the reality is hiding is incredibly easy. Sometimes you become tired of all the “I’m good”s and the constant smiles on social media. You start to wonder if you’re the only one who’s actually not having a good day, week, month or even year. I used to loathe crying in front of anyone growing up because I didn’t want to burden my loved ones. However, the older I get the more open I’ve become with my emotions and although sometimes it may seem like I cry a ton (sorry fam!) I’m thankful I don’t hold my emotions back anymore.

Not only is this freeing for the mind, but it automatically helps relationships when I can have a good cry. Something about someone having seen me at my worst creates a new bond in our relationship. One day I was having a rough time and I thought about calling my mom, but instead I texted a friend I wasn’t super close to and she ended up sitting with me and we talked for an hour. If I’ve cried in front of you, it’s a good sign I love you a lot.

I also love having serious conversations about faith and sin, like one night when my pal and I watched Nacho Libre and then hung out for an hour talking about our struggles with lust. Another cool moment was at church when people were invited to have leaders of the church pray over them. Specifically we had been talking about control, which is something I struggle with a ton, so I timidly went up to my statistics professor, promptly started crying from nerves, and had her pray over me. That brings me to my next piece of knowledge…

 

  1. I struggle immensely with control and selfishness.

God is constantly illuminating sin in my life, but this school year these were the two most prevalent sins. I need to let go of the burden of grades and the future especially. I grip to those things so tightly when I don’t need to. Selfishness has always been something I’ve known I struggle with but this school year really illuminated how it impacts the ones I love. You would think selfishness would only hurt yourself, but sin always leaves its mark on others. My roommate in particular really helped me see that and how I wasn’t cognizant of all of her struggles.

 

  1. Examples of Godly forgiveness.

The sad thing about being close to any human is you’re going to hurt them at some point. I’ve found the true character of a person to come out when they forgive someone and how they forgive someone (or don’t…). The first instance I truly experienced this forgiveness was last summer (yeah, yeah, it’s not totally consistent with sophomore year). I left an uncomfortable voicemail on a previous friend’s phone about my struggle with lust and how I felt it was negatively impacting our friendship and we should probably cut ties. Personally, if I was in his shoes I would have been super upset and uncomfortable, as he had every right to be. But what stopped me in my tracks was the fact that he messaged me back, which I at first took to be a slap in the face (that I really did need), but at the end he said, “Annah, I hope you do well for yourself.” I cannot to this day get those words out of my head, simply because of the grace and forgiveness that rests within them.

My roommate was another person that really exemplified not just what it means to say ‘I forgive you,’ but how to truly forgive as God calls us to. Back to what I started referring to about my selfishness and lack of cognizance, she acknowledged my actions/words, conveyed how they hurt her and then looking past them to say ‘I love you.’ (Roommate, you are such a blessing in my life.) Finally, I can only imagine the amount of times my mother has had to gracefully forgive me for dumb and mean things I say to her. Thank you, Mom, for showing me how to gracefully forgive others in a quiet, humble way.

 

  1. Everything you love has faults, if it’s not God.

Basically, this is me saying I never thought I could dislike an English class, but American literature proved me wrong. It’s nothing personal; pre-nineteenth century writing is just not my cup of tea. (But did you like how eloquently I stated that instead of ‘I didn’t like an English class’?) Although it is still true in a serious way, I think sometimes we forget and are let down by the world.

 

  1. Talk to who you want to!!!

I’m an introvert, and while I have a secret sassy and loud side only certain people see after hanging around me for so long, I’m generally not a very spontaneous, I-love-talking-to-strangers type of person. But sometimes I have hardcore friend crushes and I’ve begun to gradually ignore my fears of ‘oh, but that could be weird’ or ‘but I don’t really know them, I shouldn’t join them,’ because I want to hang out with people I think are cool! Even if it might not be obvious to others I have at least internally gotten bolder this year about socializing with people I’m not good friends with. (Maybe it’s because of my public speaking and barista experiences?) One time I just messaged a girl I thought was cool and was like can we please hang out sometime I’d love to get to know you and she was super flattered! (Maybe she’s even reading this!) I asked people to lunch I wanted to get to know a little better and I even spontaneously hung out with a group of cool tall dudes and had them teach me Spike Ball.

 

  1. God’s plan always happens and yours does not.

I am a planner so every week I would map out what I hoped to get done and every week my perfectly laid out plans would fail. Who knew? Oh right, God. I definitely still struggle with a healthy balance between school and socializing, as I have a hard time studying with other people around. Thus, when my work I hoped to accomplish doesn’t get done right away, I become easily frustrated (so basically, I was frustrated most days.) But my goal for next year is to really let go and be okay with how every day goes, even if it’s not what I envisioned. Because frankly, it will never be what I envision, as much as I love and try to deceive myself that I’m in control. So thanks God, for constantly reminding me of this one.

 

  1. Listen to everyone, especially those you disagree with.

This semester I took an argumentation class for my Communication major that focused on analyzing arguments and forming our own valid ones that were not just ‘your view sucks!’ I’m pretty sure everyone in the class was either in the ‘this is hard’ category or ‘this is boring,’ including my professor (who is also probably the best one I’ve ever had!) who blatantly said ‘yeah, I don’t really enjoy teaching this class, it’s not the most interesting.’ Well little Annah was silently sitting in the corner like ‘I kind of loved this class.’

Normally I avoid controversial topics and conflict in general at all costs. But since taking this class, I’m more confident in sharing my opinions, even if they aren’t popular, because I genuinely want to hear the opposing side’s thoughts and try to understand them. I love when argumentation and viewpoints (especially controversial ones) can be looked at subjectively and broken apart so that the emotions are not involved, to really analyze why people feel the ways they do. It’s not just ‘us’ versus ‘them,’ but it’s humans versus humans, and I want to understand it all!

So sue me, I’m super nerdy about forming and analyzing arguments.

 

  1. A hip hop musical was the best idea EVER!

This one is essentially for my father. So he’s probably groaning and rolling his eyes right now, thinking ‘not again!’ But I would be lying if I didn’t mention Hamilton, the current Broadway phenomenon taking over America, because it was a big part of my year (and how my roommate and I interacted with one another.)

Honestly when I heard the first couple of songs I thought 1. History is not my favorite, I don’t know if I’ll like this. 2. Holy crap, they’re singing really fast, how am I ever going to keep up with this?! 3. I never really listen to rap or hip hop, this will be interesting. So I’m sure my dad has similar thoughts. But then you realize there are slower songs and you also start catching on to the beat and smooth syntax, (the poetry is ingenious, yet historically accurate!) and before you know it you’re bobbing your head and crying at the same time. I finished listening to the soundtrack while I was home filling out my taxes. Needless to say, I’m not sure which thing made me want to cry more. But dad, since you love words, I promise you’ll enjoy it (despite an arm and leg being cut off to get tickets. That might hurt a little).

 

  1. Don’t wait to tell people you care.

One way I exemplified my love for my friends was writing spontaneous letters to people and putting them on their doors. Always tell people how much they mean to you; that will also strengthen friendships.

 

  1. I am truly blessed in every way possible.

Music, writing, food, college, a home, friends, family, and every boss I’ve had so far in life (knock on wood)… I cannot be reminded enough that I am truly blessed, especially in the midst of annoyance with homework or finding a job.

I love the messages God pulls out for us to remember in certain seasons of our life, whether sophomore year of college, first year out of college, or first year of retirement. Keep your ears open to his words.

~Annah

You’re Hired

My first half of college is quickly drawing to a close (yikes, that’s scary!) and summer is approaching. The past few months and the next few weeks will continue to be application season for so many people, and I among them. To be honest with you, these seasons are very difficult and disheartening for me. But I’m always oddly calm, too.

Growing up, I always placed too much emphasis on my grades. Now after 14 years of school I’m starting to realize I’ll be okay no matter what the grade is. My life will go on. But now I face the struggle of putting my identity in jobs, or more appropriately, having numerous applications rejected. I’ll admit I’m a pretty naïve person when it comes to jobs and applications. I have so much confidence that I can land any career when the world is far from that simple. When things don’t work out, which is more than the number of times they will, I get super bummed and feel a little unwanted. Have you ever felt that way?

But it’s not even just the rejection from jobs that bothers me. There’s this pressure that I need to be super stressed and worried when things don’t work out. Yes, money is obviously necessary in this world, but if it takes me a little longer to find a job the world will not go up in flames… The thing is in the midst of the chaos and application season when everyone is rushing and frazzled, I kind of step back and intentionally try to do the opposite.

I’m weird, I have anxiety and worry a ton, but when I’m in a huge group of people who are all worrying that instantly makes me want to calm down. Everyone was freaking out about housing earlier this year and constantly kept asking me what my plans were, concerned for their future living situations. I would reply with something like, ‘you know, I don’t know where I’m living, but I’m honestly not that worried. Somehow it’ll work out.’

The pressure college puts on us to be constantly stressed about the future really turns me off. I just want to yell, “No, I’m not going to enter this season worried and I’ll be better off for it, thanks!” Was I bummed when an interview I thought went really well didn’t land me any of the multiple jobs they were hiring? Heck yeah! But then I dusted myself off and thought that that Dad of mine has something else in store this next season and I’m going to trust that. Instead, I’ll be working with my school newspaper crew again next school year. They’re pretty cool, so I’ll walk through that open door.

I’m at least starting off this coming summer at the coffee shop I worked at last year. Honestly, I was pretty bummed none of my other job efforts paid off and a little frustrated with God for personal reasons. I’ll keep applying and hopefully at least acquire another new part-time job on the side. I thought my season at the coffee shop was over and needed to be over, but God has a different plan. He always does, doesn’t he? I told one of my coworkers I was returning and her sweet response made me feel a lot better. Maybe it wasn’t my ideal vision but there are people there God has blessed me to work alongside.

What I want you to know and hear if you are in my boat of changing seasons is that things work out. They always do. And you will meet some cool people that teach you more about life and all the kinds of intricate people you share the planet with.

~AnnahIMG_0448 (2)

Social Media is the Cyber Bully

Sunday is Easter, which means Lent ended yesterday and I’ve been off social media for over 40 days. Normally I don’t celebrate Lent, so I didn’t realize it ended yesterday and I’m a little scared. I wanted to challenge myself to escape social media because it has been an addiction for years. I’ve always known that, I’ve just never been honest with myself about it.

But this fast also provided me with boatloads of hope. Since it has been such a time-suck and addiction over the years, I figured I would experience immense frustration over the past 40 days. I was certain I would see an ugly side of myself emerge, that would have a fit over the fleshly desire being pulled out of my grasp.

The coolest thing God taught me over the past 40 days was that social media has no power over my life. Considering the amount of time it stole from me, I was surprised to find out I was pretty apathetic about its absence in my daily life. I don’t need it and I can survive without it no problem. But the biggest eye-opener is that younger generations have it imbedded in our minds that we need it and will miss out on something important by losing it. I promise you if people really care and if something is truly important, they will find another way to contact you.

With social media gone I was able to invest in the relationships around me deeper than before. One of my favorite nights this past month was spent with a dear friend watching a hilarious movie and then having a long talk about lust, which we both struggle with. These are the kinds of irreplaceable moments and conversations we miss out on because we are glued to a screen. If you are anything like me, times when you’re alone and not occupied by homework consist of a ton of scrolling and not much else. Not even reading, writing, or other individual activities that hold so much more value. We convince ourselves that we wouldn’t be as content doing those things and scrolling is easier and more enjoyable. That is a lie.

I want to speak some truths into your life right now. You matter and your worth is not based on pictures or posts. Beautiful, impactful moments don’t have to be posted online and sometimes it’s better to keep awesome things between yourself and God, or your friends and family. Your life is significant; even if all you did was sit on your bed all day. You don’t have to be constantly hanging out with people to have fun. Just because your life doesn’t look like those other person’s pictures doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong or they’re even that happy.

Social media is the current façade, the current ‘I’m fine,’ the current mask we wear when we’re scared of being vulnerable. Let your life be richer than the posts and the scrolling. When you hang out with friends, put the phone away. Maybe even leave it in the car. If you say you’re going to be hanging out with someone, mean it. Do it.

Don’t let this covert addiction win. Because it loves to lie to you and it loves to deceive you. It’ll tell you how important it is until you wash away the façade and delete the apps and realize it’s not. It’s really, really not, my dear. You are worth more than the likes and the retweets. You are worth others’ genuine, full attention. And I promise you, you can live a full, beautiful, memorable life without the social media.

As for me, I think I’ll leave the apps off of my phone. I think I might just check them once a day, on my computer. As Switchfoot sings, “We were meant to live for so much more, have we lost ourselves?” I don’t want to be buried under the mindless scrolling to fill the ‘boring’ time that has been gracefully given to me. And I don’t want you to be buried, either.

~Annah

Store Up the Promises

I’ve heard chaplains and pastors around me describe how vital it is to store up on God’s promises during the good seasons to help you through the rough patches later. It’s definitely true, because oftentimes if we wait until the thick of the rough patches to search for positivity, our emotions can easily cloud the truth. We are more susceptible to Satan’s lies during the bad times.

Today I am joyful, and the best part is that I didn’t expect today to be anything special. That’s when God likes to prove us wrong. But this is not something I take lightly, because I know there have been and will be other days where joy is really hard to find. So I am basking in the joy, sitting in sunny spots and writing, and my soul is happy. As I write in my dorm lobby, friends keep walking in and greeting me and I am so blessed to know so many lovely people walking alongside our Father. I love having the scales lifted from my eyes to spot even the smallest blessings, like a warm smile and greeting.

God rejuvenated my spirit through a coffee meeting with a Hope graduate named Eric, who is a musician and producer that composes music for films. On this uncertain road to my passions, I have resolved to soak in any and every piece of information available to me, while meeting more people in the industry. The coolest part is seeing the joy others have when they talk about music, just like I do. Networking is always made out to be some scary, uncomfortable situation, but to me it’s interacting with more people who share my passions.

For being an introvert, I’m kind of surprised I don’t mind networking at all. More and more I find myself changing from the quiet and timid communicator I was in high school, and my level of self-confidence is definitely a huge contributor. A year ago I did not have half the level of confidence in myself that I do now and I don’t know when the switch flipped, but it just proves that even if God’s not working on a certain sin area in my life, he’s still working and shaping my image in a different way.

God gave me contentment that music is something I truly want to pursue and lately I have been hesitant whether this is really his plan or just my ideal plan. However, when I expressed my concerns to Eric he made sure to explain that we often feel pressured that there’s only one specific plan God has for us and we need to make sure we don’t pick the wrong one, when that’s really not the case at all. We can’t mess up his plan for how he wants us to serve the world through an occupation, because it’s not the occupation that ultimately matters, it’s being the hands and the feet of Christ in whatever field we pursue. As Eric said, that’s God’s request for all of us and now he’s letting me choose what exact path in music I can best become his hands and feet in.

There are so many potential fears and worries that I have for my future, no doubt, but I’m trying to work on opening my clenched fists. I’m also starting to realize that wherever I go, whether God places me in my hometown, a different state, or across the world he will be there with me, his people will be there to welcome me and people that need him that he wants to speak to through me are there. The hardest part is letting go of my fears and asking God to lead me wherever he wants me, even if that involves being out of my comfort zone. “Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders.” It’s a lovely sentiment to sing, but a tough pill to swallow.

So on this joyful afternoon I am storing up promises for the hard times. God will always be there with me and he can use me no matter what I do or where I go. He will use me if I obtain a dream job, he can and has used me at random jobs like coffee shops, and he will use me in every season of my life, whether dry or flourishing. He loves me even when I don’t “feel” like he does. He will carry me through hard times, including loss, disappoint, hurt, and fear, because he always has before.

Here’s scripture and songs to store up as well, and hopefully they’ll help you too.

“I will call upon your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in your embrace

For I am yours

And you are mine.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m_sWJQm2fs

Although we are weeping

Lord, help us keep sowing

The seeds of your kingdom

For the day you will reap them

Your sheaves we will carry

Lord, please do not tarry

All those who sow weeping

Will go out with songs of joy.

~Psalm 126

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tIuxV8pTJk

God will always be certain, even if our futures are not. Hallelujah. But let us also lean into what he wants from us today.

~Annah

Perfect the Uncontrollable

I love being in control. I have to be in control in my mind, otherwise my anxiety goes haywire. Striving for perfectionism and being in control go hand in hand for me. At work, I always perform tasks the same way every time. Homework can often be a long and tedious process because I always have to make sure I have it done just the way I want it. My planner is mapped out just so, with each month under a different pen color; homework assignments on the left and other scheduled activities on the right. Everything is neat and orderly, and that is how I like it.

That means when I fly on an airplane, although I don’t have much of a problem with it, I freak out a bit. I think naturally it will crash and I will die, because I can’t be in control. I have been concerned about my passion and aspiration to pursue music, because in the back of my mind I have a strong hunch that at the end of the day what I really want to do involves moving away. Where jobs and companies are located is beyond my control and that freaks me out more than the actual occurrence of me moving probably would. Everything will go wrong and panic will ensue if I am not in control.

If I try hard enough, I can get the grades I want. If I plan accordingly, I can hang out with the people I want. The problem I’ve started to see—that I have been struggling with for the past couple months—is that I think I can perfect anything and everything. With worldly things, that’s how it works; things can be perfected if done just so.

The scary truth is I have let this toxic lie seep into my life that says, ‘if you try hard enough, you can eradicate your sin.’ When I subconsciously maintain this mindset only to find out I still struggle with lust or selfishness or comparison, I become incredibly frustrated. Then, instead of running to God, I tell myself I’m not good enough, because if I was leaning into Him more often, I wouldn’t be dealing with these problems. I tell myself I’m the problem. But the problem is sin. And sin is inevitable, Annah, in case you didn’t know. It’s so easy to know the truths in my head but not fully accept them from God. I know and always hear that God is in control and it will all be okay, but I never truly believe it. My actions never display that truth, because the scariest thing to me is not being in control.

A few weeks ago I watched an awesome video by a Christian woman named Sadie Robertson. She has a YouTube channel where she talks about faith and in this video she essentially talked about letting go of all of the hurt from our pasts, giving everything up to God, and telling him to ‘wreck my world.’ Ever since then I’ve been thinking about that concept and this perfecting of my faith I’ve been holding onto. Ultimately it all comes back to the struggle of control. I initially prayed and asked God to ‘wreck my world,’ but I don’t know that I’ve really opened my fists yet.

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” ~Proverbs 16:9

My prayer right now is to let go of control, but also fear, because they go hand in hand for me as well. He sees my day, and my tomorrow, and my entire future before me… Although I will fail, I have nothing to fear, because His grace has covered me. Plus, the devil loves to play with my weaknesses. If I could perfect my faith there would be no need for Jesus.

I don’t know where I’m going in the future, but God will be right there with me, continuing to love me with his grace and patience. Hallelujah, what a Savior!

~Annah

Introverts & Isolation

Where are all of my introvert readers at? Yeah, hey! I can definitely relate to you. After being in large social gatherings for a while I become super exhausted and need alone time. I need a few deep friendships instead of loads of friends. I think answers through very carefully before raising my hand in class or sharing with a group in other formal situations. Sometimes I feel like the only introvert at my college (but let’s be honest, most of them are probably just hiding in quiet places.)

Alone time is great and very necessary to have with the Lord in the midst of the chaos of college. But if I’m honest, sometimes I find myself alone too much and while it’s great if I really need to study, I think it’s important between introverts to understand that we need community too. Especially as Christians, we were not made to be alone all of the time. Sometimes I can find myself caught up in my alone time and nagging anxious thoughts, beginning to wallow over self-pity about who knows what. When I start feeling in a funk or out of place and not having the greatest day, I’ve learned that even if it’s the last thing you want to do; flocking to other people is the only way to go.

We are a self-centered culture driven by our own motivations and when you need to recharge and be alone frequently as an introvert, the urge to value your own life over everything else going on is too easy. Just like anything in the world, being an introvert has its pitfalls and can lead to sin if not watched carefully. A day spent cramming for a test could mean struggling friends who may need you are left struggling, because hanging out with them is not convenient for your schedule. Maybe you could have gone out of your way to call or pray for a family member, but you were exhausted and decided to take a nap instead.

This is not me stating introverts are terrible sinners, I’m sure extroverts have their own problems we cannot relate to, but introverts can easily turn their way of living into self-centeredness and lack of awareness towards others. Anything that doesn’t fit our personal schedule can easily be placed on the back-burner, because convenience is bliss, right?

If you’re anything like me, you start thinking about this and realize oh crap, there’s contritionI haven’t been putting anyone else first in a while. First of all, talk to God about it. He loves when you open your heart and say here’s the gunk… take it and transform it. Don’t wait until after you’ve beat yourself up about it—run to him right now. While you may have heard these verses a million times before, hear them with fresh ears now:

“But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” ~Matthew 6:30

You know that test you feel like you’re going to fail? You know how you feel like you can’t do anything until that homework assignment is done? It’s going to be okay. The world will not go up in flames if you don’t get the grade you wanted. The other day I was preparing for a speech and as an introvert I absolutely hate speeches. Every time I get a new assignment for the class, my blood pressure goes up a little bit. But I started thinking about it in a new way as I rehearsed the other night. Yes, it seems daunting now, but an hour afterwards it will be so far from my mind and I will not care anymore. So why give it the time of day? Why worry about something that has no significance on the eternal spectrum? Yes, that doesn’t mean my fears immediately dissipated and everything was roses after that, but giving all of the things you’re worrying about to God and realizing their ultimate significance can help you slow down and enjoy life a little more. He is taking care of you, even if life doesn’t go according to plan. Trust fall into his arms and maybe spend time in the presence of community for a little while.

“…do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” ~Philippians 4:6

Ah, the classic do not be anxious about anything verse. But we really need to hear that constantly! Do you let that really sink in, because often times I don’t! Do not be anxious about anything. That doesn’t mean except that speech or that placement test or that job interview or even sin (which I’ve done before). It means don’t be anxious about anything!

Usually, at least in my case, if I’m not in isolation because I’m recharging from a crowded event, it’s because I’m anxious about something. But that’s all the more reason to run towards God and his people! Maybe he even wants to talk to you through some of his people. Allow yourself to recharge on Netflix now and again, and maybe spend a day bearing down on homework, but also provide slots of time for community and the other people God has breathed life into and wants you to experience.

~Annah